I Wanna Kiss You In The Rain
by MuchFaberryLoveX
Summary: Sparia. What happens when Ali catches Spencer and Aria in a compromised position? Set in the December before Ali's disappearance. Will be continued, with longer chapters, if you want it to.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys, I'm back. For those of you who are wondering if I'll update Yellow Rose, I will (soon). Also a Quinntana fanfiction is on the way...**

**anyway, about this story. this isn't very long and I didn't put too much into it, I just wanted to see the reaction because I've never written for PLL before but I got an idea and this was the result... it's set in the December before Ali went missing but if I continued it I might eventually flip over to real time.**

**so please give feedback (good and bad) so i can decide whether to continue this. thanks :)**

**p.s team sparia ftw!**

Ali twirled in front of Spencer and Aria, who were sitting on her bed admiring her as Ali tried on her new dresses. Ali wasn't really looking at them much though; she was too distracted by her own reflection in her floor length mirror.

"That dress is lovely," Aria said lavishly at the black and cream lace-up one. Spencer smiled in agreement, but with less enthusiasm. She knew how much Ali just wanted attention, and it frustrated her sometimes when she saw her friends get taken in by her foolish games of 'fashion shows' and 'shout mean stuff at the fat people down the road'. Whatever Ali wanted, she got. And Spencer couldn't help but be jealous of all the attention Aria was giving Ali.

Ali gushed at Aria's words, "Oh, you think? Well, I did think of you when I picked it out." The blonde smiled like an angel and sure enough, Aria was taken in by the fact that Alison DiLaurentis actually thought of her. Spencer rolled her eyes, the only reason Aria was being so gushy was because Ali knew she obsessed over lace, so she of course put the lace dress on. Spencer wasn't as easily impressed, unless it came to Aria.

Ali stepped out of the dress and threw it to Aria, revealing her purple silk bra and underwear. Spencer closed her eyes, feeling awkward about being there. It was worse in the girl's changing rooms, when everyone paraded around in nothing and didn't care because there were no boys there. But what they didn't know was that Spencer being there was just as bad.

"Try it on!" suggested Ali, grinning at both the brunettes who were sprawled casually on her bed, but directing the words only to Aria.

Aria thanked her and picked up the pretty dress, just as the ice cream van sounded and Ali excused herself.

"I'll be back in a minute; I'll go get some ice creams from the truck outside."

Aria lifted her shirt above her head and Spencer went to look away, as she always did, but found she couldn't. Her eyes traced up from her hips up her firm bare waist and to her simple black bra. She closed her eyes and tried to think of something else.

"Spencer, are you okay?" she was concerned, and then halted getting changed to sit by the taller girl, "Are you crying?"

I am inside, thought Spencer, as she felt Aria's bare skin and the slightest touch of her cotton bra brush her arm. "N-no, I'm fine," she choked out, but then that made her sound like she was crying even more, so Aria hugged her in response.

"Spence, I know something's up; I know you," she consoled, holding her tight.

To her complete surprise, Spencer found that she did actually start crying. Hot, salty tears ran quickly down her face and soaked Aria's bare shoulders.

**SPENCER'S POV**

Should I just tell her? Surely Aria of all people would understand. She's not supposed to love Ezra, but she does. I'm not supposed to love girls, but I do. I should just get it out; I read in a book somewhere it's not good to keep feelings bottled up inside. But how do I tell her? Yes, she might understand that part... but what about the part where I was listening to Taylor Swift's new album, Fearless, last night and Hey Stephen made me think of her, even though I didn't know why. I had to tell her though; I'd felt this way for a long time, and I realised it wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

Aria's face was scarily close to mine, her big hazel eyes staring into mine with concern. They melted me in an instant. My eyes flickered to her lips, shiny with the strawberry gloss she always used. I could smell them; I could almost taste them. Before I knew what I was doing I'd leant in and kissed her; her lips tasted delicious and they were even softer than I imagined.

Aria hadn't a chance to respond and my lips hadn't got a chance to jump back before Ali walked in with ice creams, which she almost dropped when she saw mine and Aria's lips connected.

My head spun to where Ali was standing, reeling from the kiss but in a bad way as well as a good way. I panicked. I couldn't stay there while Ali gave that stupid smirk she always gave and said some stupid remark that would leave me stinging for days. I just couldn't handle it right then, so I pushed past her, ran through the door and down the stairs without saying a word. However, I did look back through the door once I'd passed Ali... Aria hadn't moved an inch.

What did that mean? I desperately needed answers, but first I had to clear my head.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I've decided that I'm going to base each chapter of the story around a line from Hey Stephen, the song that reminded Spencer of Aria. It helps stop writer's block, and it's an amazing song tehe. This chapters a bit longer than the last, and I hope it's good enough! Feedback is amazing, and team sparia ftw!**

~ As we walked we were talking I didn't say half the things I wanted to ~

After I'd walked around and cried for a bit, it was 10 o'clock. I came home and little to my surprise, the house was dark and no one's in. I hated being by myself in the house. Mum knew that, but she probably wouldn't care, unless it was Melissa who was frightened and then she'd probably quit her job to sit at home and cuddle her. Melissa and Dad were both in Philly, looking for a house for Melissa. I ran up to my room and collapsed on the bed, half in exhaustion and half in sadness.

Why did I do that? Why did I ruin our friendship? Although Aria and I only became close when we both befriended Ali, I had still known of her. I still saw her in the halls and she used to sit next to me in English Literature, when we were taught by an old and cranky lady. We used to always partner up for our projects (mainly because Mrs Hankiln put us together, but it still counts) and she was a joy to work with. She was so intelligent. No, not intelligent. She was something else, something special. She was arty and creative, but wasn't that annoying and attention seeking kind of rebellious. She was just... Aria. And that was what I loved about her from the very first time I laid my lucky eyes on her.

But now this had happened. Why did I kiss her? That question spun around and around in my head until it was throbbing. I couldn't think straight. What was wrong with me? Would Aria ever even speak to me again? I know she's all for equality and stuff, but wouldn't me liking her still creep her out? And Ali, oh God, Ali. She would hold this over me forever. I hated myself for loving Aria, but I couldn't help it. Some days, seeing her would be the only thing that got me through. My family didn't care, Ali didn't really, and Emily and Hanna did but they were nothing like Aria. She was special, my one perfect thing in a world of darkness. The air began to feel stuffier and I began to panic.

I glanced over at my room and my bookcase glared gloomily at me from the opposite side. Anxiously I went over and examined it. Yes, the books were still all arranged by author, series then title. But would they be better arranged by title? I frantically threw all the books on my bed and ordered them again. The activity lasted about half an hour, and once it was over my head felt clear again.

I should just stop thinking about her. She probably won't mention it again.

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled - I can do this. I can do this. I'm a Hastings. I can do this.  
I moved to my desk and made a start on my calculus homework.

* * *

The next day I walked to school with a spring in my step. I'd completed all my homework in a breeze and even completed an extra credit essay on John Steinbeck's, _The Red Pony_, which I had scheduled to complete next week. Finishing my work early always left me jubilant, even after last night. I'd decided to skip meeting the other 4 at the Brew; I didn't want Alison's rat-like nose sneering at me. I had received texts from neither Aria nor Alison, which brought me to the conclusion that they probably just wanted to forget about it to. Well, Aria probably did. I could never imagine Alison DiLaurentis missing an opportunity to hang something over my head for the rest of my life.

I arrived at school precisely 8 minutes early, my favourite time to arrive because it gave me long enough to drink my travel coffee, re-order my locker and allow myself a minute to get to my first class of the day and get the best seat.

After that, I lost myself in Russian History. Well, you know what they say: The past is the greatest escapism from the impending future. However, it did not completely get rid of my problem, as there was a gaping flaw in my plan, called lunch time.

I went into the cafeteria and scanned the room for a seat, praying that the other 4 girls wouldn't be there. Of course, they were, and so my nightmare began.

"Spencer!" Hanna waved, a pile of fries leaden with cheese sat in front of her. I sighed and walked over, carrying my lunch tray.

"Hi, guys," I said awkwardly, only looking at Emily and Hanna. I was worried that if I even looked at Aria again I would be able to smell her sweet, floral perfume and her warm breath. I would be able to feel her soft lips against mine, delicious and gentle.

Ali cleared her throat, "So have you guys seen what Jenna was wearing today?"

I looked up at this; she felt sure that Ali would expose her straight away. Maybe she was saving it for later, and wanted to make sure I squirmed. Ali wasn't even looking at me, but Aria was. I caught her gaze and blushed innately; her look wasn't unkind like I'd expected but more concerned, and there was a hint of something else which I couldn't quite put my finger on. She looked away first, and looked back to Alison.

"It was okay, Ali," Aria reasoned, trying to be kind like she always did. That was one of the things I loved about her.

Ali snorted, "Yeah, if okay is looking like a squashed lemon meringue!"

I rolled my eyes – Ali was so mean sometimes, but it wasn't like any of us could stop her. She must've seen my insolent expression and retorted, "Hey, Spence. How's your Taylor Swift obsession going?"

I couldn't see where she was going with this so I stammered out, "O…okay?"

She smirked knowingly, "I heard she posted some photos from her holiday the other week, and from what I heard you'd have loved them."

My heart sank in my stomach. Ali was right, she'd posted photos from summer when she went on holiday. But the point she was making was that Taylor was in a bikini. And she was right, I did love the photos.

The others looked from me to Ali confused, but Aria knew what Ali was talking about – I'd shown her the photos last week when she came round my house.

"Ali, stop," Aria murmured so quietly I wasn't even sure that I'd heard correctly. I ignored them both and returned my attention to my food, carefully lining up my salad leaves to make sure none of them hung over the edge. This was exactly why I hated Ali, sometimes I even wished she would just leave Rosewood and never come back.

* * *

I was just starting home after the last class of the day, and after lunchtime I didn't see Ali again. I avoided walking past her locker, walked the long way out to make sure I didn't see her coming out of school and I had no lessons with her. It had been surprisingly easy. But avoiding Aria hadn't been so easy. I didn't want to see her, and feel so ashamed of myself. She'd made it clear by not trying to call me or find me last night that she didn't want anything to do with it, and I was sure I'd imagined her sticking up for me at the lunch table. No one else even seemed to have heard it. She was in my last class and sat directly behind me, and I swore I could feel her eyes burning circles in my back the whole time. Once, I'd glanced behind to look at the clock, and her gaze was locked on my face. I didn't understand. I told the teacher that I had a dentist appointment right after school so I needed to leave 5 minutes early, to give myself a head start so I wouldn't have to face Aria after school. And my plan seemed to be working until...

"Spencer!" It was her. I debated whether to ignore her and run the rest of the way, but I decided against it. I'd have to face her at some point.

I turned around and put on my best smile, "Hey, Aria!"

Her little legs caught up to me, her big Doc Martin boots clunky on the ground. God, she was so adorable. "You walking home?" she asked, slightly out of breath. She must've run all the way from class to catch me.

"Yeah," I replied, and we started towards our houses. At first we were silent, and it was painfully awkward. I had to break the silence because it was eating away at me, so I simply said, "My mum's being a bitch again."

Aria looked up at me in concern, "What's she done now?"

I sighed, "She's saying I'm not allowed to renovate the barn into a loft, even though she promised me I could. Oh, and there's the fact that I came in last night at 10 o'clock and she wasn't even home from work yet, and my Dad and Melissa are both out of town."

She looked alarmed, "10 o'clock?!"

I mentally chided myself, I left Ali's house at around 4 o'clock so of course Aria would worry. "Yeah… I went for a walk," knowing this wouldn't appease her. At least it's the truth. I walked to the park and sat on the swings for 2 hours, then went the 5 miles to the library only to find it closed due to renovations, and then walked home via Aria's house. I was going to knock on her door and apologise, but I couldn't find the will to go and knock on her door, so I ran home.

"For 6 hours?" Aria exclaimed, "Spence, why didn't you come back?"

I looked at her as if she'd just asked me the stupidest question in the world, well actually it was the stupidest question in the world. "Ali," was my simple answer.

Aria looked guilty, "I should've come after you; I'm sorry for not being there for you."

I looked at the ground. Now Aria felt bad, and it was all my fault. I hated myself; I loathed myself in that moment. I didn't want to be here; I couldn't do this. "I need to take a detour to my mum's office," I said quickly, "See you later, Aria."

She looked at me in confusion and hurt, but I just turned away and walked in the opposite direction. She was better off without me as her friend; I was just Spencer Hastings, the closet lesbian.

I heard footsteps behind me, the heavy-footed-Doc-Martins-boots kind of heavy footed. Not again.

"Aria, look-" I started to say, but I stopped as soon as I felt her hand find mine. My stomach came alive with butterflies, but it was quickly followed by a sting of pain that shot through me: I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I didn't want to feel butterflies when she looked at me, smile like an idiot when she complimented me or die inside when I heard her talking about her long-time crush Noel Kahn. I pulled my hand away abruptly, as I felt hot, salty tears sting my cheeks.

"Spencer, please, hear me out!" Aria begged, her hazel eyes boring into mine.

"No, I don't want to hear anything else!" I screamed and turned on my heel, running home. I heard her call after me but I ignored her. I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't take it.


End file.
